It will get better...

So, its been a long time since i blogged.
Ive been busy with O levels.
My last paper is this Tuesday. :D
But ive already started enjoying, so it doesnt really make a difference

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So like ive been pondering about a lot of different things that are happening in my life lately. I've been thinking, is this the kinda lifestyle i want? Is this what i want?

I've been given chances and chances, but i never seem to make full use of them. I guess this boils down to one thing, i really need you in my life.

Yet again i'm afraid. What if this isn't what God has planned for me? What if you are not supposed to be part of my life?

Then again, i think about God's plan.. His plans are so amazing & unpredictable. Sometimes i wish that i know what God has in mind for me. But then again, where would the excitement and joy be in life?

Many things have happened within the past week. Many things have made me realize how important some people are to me. Many things have made me realize how much i need these people in my life. Many things have made me realize how much i really want them in my life. And most importantly, these things have made me realize what i do not enjoy in life.

Nobody can ever understand how much i loved you, and how much i am loving you more each day. Yes, i know it sounds cliche, sounds cheesy but it's really how i feel. In your presence, i just feel like melting. I hope time stops, the minute i'm so close to you.

You've been near, but i did not grab hold of my chances. So i'm asking myself, how long more do i have to regret this decision of not returning back a glance.

Then, i realized, how much i realized my girls. They were the ones who have seen me through my every obstacle in life. & i did not cherish every minute with them. God had taken me this far, to only realize how much i miss them & how much i need them in my life. Even though we had our childish days, i guess that would still be the most memoriable days of my lives. Janice, Jasmine, Raina, Keshia, Cordelia.

I know i'm running in circles. Maybe to some of you, this most may be hard to understand, but it's alright. Most importantly, is that i just need to let all of this out.

It took me a long time, to only realize pride wont gain me friends, pride wont gain me happiness, pride wont gain me love. But love would. I guess it all boils down to one thing,

Love just is..











Sorry j, you were always there for me, 24-7. But i always end up breaking your heart. I wish we can go back to the past. I really miss you. Just to let you know, nobody can ever replace your position in my heart.

It only matters how true you are, be true to yourself & follow your heart..