Screw it.

Met Richmond last night. He helped me with a biggggg favour. Then i helped him back with 3 favours! :D 1 favour still pending. Muahahahahaha. Helped him book a table at Jack's Place on Christmas Day for his gf & himself okay! How nice!

Neways.. Malcolm & his gf are really really cute together. Hahaha. &&&& mal made me feel damn guilty after telling me the "snake" story. >:(

Slept, got woken up this morning, by parents. Cos i also dont know why. They want me to go to the customer service centre together to get the DVD player fixed -.-
Then went to AMK Hub for Lunch @ Ichiban Sushi. Didnt really like it, not a sushi fan. But mommy kept insisting on eating Ichiban...

Came home to sleep cause i was really really sleepy, didnt get enough sleep lately. Studied today. Richm called, for dinner, but i cldnt meet him. Cos i badly need to study.

Was telling Daddy that Andrew is applying for a school in Australia if he fails N level. & both dad & mom started discussing that maybe i could do the same. & they'll put me under Phoebe's care. Which means.......... :D *BIG SMILES*

though i really really want to go there, but i dont wanna leave sg.
1. i would be away from home, no mommy, no daddy.. :(
2. i'm gonna miss ALL my friends..
3. no more fcbc.
4. the lifestyle there is very different.

then today i was asking daddy.., what if my results didnt turn out so good & the teachers advice me to go to ite.. his reply: "impossible"

then after a while, he said:
"even if you go to ite, just go. don't care about what people will say about you, look down on you, or make fun of you. ite is also still a school. proud people will make fun of you. be humble & know that he is in control."
& then he started telling me about his friend... which i know of. that used to be an ite student, graduated from ite, but is very very rich now. he owns a BMW. stays in a condominium. & hello, condominium that has 2 levels. so yeah. daddy tried to encourage me that ite isn't that bad after all.

i guess, if i really have to go to ite. alot of people will be affected. i guess, ultimately, i'll be the most affected one. people around me, will have a different perspective. & definitely it gives ____ another reason to talk about me. as if there hadn't been enough gossiping going on already. i know that people will look down on me. this is one struggle ive to get ready if ive to step in ite.

if i really have to study in ite, i dont know what i'll do. everybody will have different perspective of me, more gossips. more stares.. everything. i know many people will look down on me. how's mom & dad gonna face their tribes? how are they gonna answer people upon being question for their eldest daughter's results?

i'm such a loser.